I Promise

[italiceyeball]

To spend the rest of today sitting on the patio reading "V." by Thomas Pynchon. To drink iced coffee and chuckle at my anxieties. To take myself lightly and carry some of that into this week.

To lounge unapologetically...

And if I come back and read this later, in the midst of whatever panic I might find myself in over the next month:

Try to remember. You have it pretty good, most of the time. How bout you just do the stuff you have to do, stop whining about it, and get back to me when you've come to your senses? You're a more or less intelligent, self sufficient, capable guy with decent improvisational skills. Make shit work. And when you've settled in to whatever new rhythm you find, and you will, we can sit down and hammer out some of this existential bullshit that's been keeping you up at night. Until then, simmer down and stop being such a drama queen.

xoxo,
Me

Comments

[keplers_angels]

Ah Tovarish,
I would know these symptoms anywhere.
And I don't know why I didn't notice it til this post.
This also explains why for the last few days I have felt this incredible calm and steadiness.

When did we make the switch?

And is all the fear and self-doubt everything you'd hoped for?

[italiceyeball]

On behalf of all of us here at Apprehension Incorporated we would like to thank you for this opportunity to expand our experiential horizons beyond what is normally permitted by company regulations(Chapter 413.76 section D of the field manual for psych operatives), however we must insist that at your earliest convenience we come to some kind of balanced arrangement regarding the disposition of well being and general equanimity.

Our people assure us that a compromise can be reached and we are certain that showing up at your doorstep with a search-and-seizure will be completely unnecessary.

[keplers_angels]

I do have some signatures here on a statement that full disclosure has been given and received.

However, this searching and seizing business sounds compelling. I happen to have several openings in the schedule this week.

[italiceyeball]

Please have all relevant documentation ready by Friday. If you hear a helicopter, put your shotgun away and make coffee. Depth perception is an important part of marksmanship and with that eyepatch you just can't be trusted.

[keplers_angels]

I would not like to get the American Association Of People With Disabilities involved in this matter. But they may be interested in threats to deny second (and fourth) amendment rights to one-eyed persons.

Further, all of the best marksmen shoot with one eye.

[italiceyeball]

Your quirky editing habits please me.

And fine, keep the shotgun. But no rock salt this time, that shit stings.