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I'm less engaged as we get deeper. In surface interaction, in the small talk of love, I'm present.
But the more that I see
the less there is of me.
I've spoken in the past about the old banality regarding eyes and doorways to the soul... about my obsession with the world as machine. I don't see anything in your eyes, whoever you are.
S. told me a few months ago not to use the word machine when I'm discussing... this. Because it repulses. And I say it should. I would expect it to in the same way a hand retreats from the sudden tickle of insect legs.
Though it often seems I am trying to convince, this is not extremely important to me. It's a hobby, it's fun, it gets the caveman dominance juices flowing like stamp collecting and being a real fan of something. I'm too self centered to become invested in changing anyone else's mind.
So, this, but not this... Myself as a transcript recorded specifically for myself, with the certain foreknowledge that I simply won't be interested. There is a subtle flavor of freedom here among the rubble. Cold, though.
But the more that I see
the less there is of me.
I've spoken in the past about the old banality regarding eyes and doorways to the soul... about my obsession with the world as machine. I don't see anything in your eyes, whoever you are.
S. told me a few months ago not to use the word machine when I'm discussing... this. Because it repulses. And I say it should. I would expect it to in the same way a hand retreats from the sudden tickle of insect legs.
Though it often seems I am trying to convince, this is not extremely important to me. It's a hobby, it's fun, it gets the caveman dominance juices flowing like stamp collecting and being a real fan of something. I'm too self centered to become invested in changing anyone else's mind.
So, this, but not this... Myself as a transcript recorded specifically for myself, with the certain foreknowledge that I simply won't be interested. There is a subtle flavor of freedom here among the rubble. Cold, though.