Jun. 7th, 2015

Hello I

Jun. 7th, 2015 09:30 pm
dreamed one thousand times of one thousand inverted eyes dotting a tongue like synesthetic taste buds. Your disco ball skin dance full throttle straddling me leather nights thrumming subsonic a mailman whistling. A dog barking. A fish gasping on orange shag carpet. Tiny globes of water reflecting the world, threads, synthetic polymer. One hand gnarled arthritic tremor grasping the other all elastic flushed life glow.

I remember

Something important. I stop. I touch the walls. I go outside and breathe. I linger in bed and bury my face in pillows. I gleefully. I gleefully. I suffer a brief episode of existential dread(this is how I know I am not ill). I consider a small yellow spider on my leg.

There is a bit of the
now what.
And it deserves consideration. Of course.

Nothing changes, when everything changes. No, no- everything changes when- no... Change is like a box of- no.

It's not that my... Problems? Disappeared. It's not that I've settled everything. It's not that I'm ha- oh. Oh. Oh no.

What curse is this!? Happiness? Satisfaction!? Preposterous! I'll not be one of those saccharine fools flouncing around with a grin eyes all a twinkle... Or. Well.

I suppose I will.

Not to worry. The gaping hole left in my hyperbolic angst will simply have to be filled with something else. After all, the ache of longing, sexual frustration, abject loneliness, and corrosive ennui are so last decade.

I still have a bottomless well of existential dread! That should be enough for a few blog entries at least.

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