Jan. 13th, 2014

January 6th:

Consider yesterday in the slush. Adapting to the drift, even playing with it enjoying... novelty. Afternoon wandering. Consider tires spinning under confused drivers and me gliding just gliding on accelerator taps and brake carress through parking lot and narrow crowded street. Consider

Consistency. Snow as mud, no, silt- ground to fluidic discretion. Remember that it is cold, cold, high of 15, there is no melting and the sun doesn't see. Won't see, no matter the craning and squinting up and insisting. The ground. The ground, the entire bottom layer of the World has changed.

>>>

Later:

Consider:
A meaningless world is incomprehensible- this is a tautology, of course. I can ask, however, what such a world might look like from my perspective(imaginary: they all are), from my World of decisive and rational enlightenment... You laugh, of course, so do I, of course, but- consider: whe/x👒💼°℅fffp

<<<

Even later:

If reading is an escape(or whatever fashionable sin stocks the boudoir these days). And music. And conversation. Even work! Under certain scrutiny, even work. So? Then what isn't, and what does escape mean when... Self Inflicted in this context? What is Left, after declaring every moment illegitimate? Ah, so, potentialies that- when realized, once achieved, whether eating that sandwich coveted for hours or finally approaching postmodernity in asymptotic bliss(a retelling of The Emperors New Clothes from the perspective of said nonextant textiles)

and so on until...

But! There are a few. Things. That will not accept such cavalier banalization. That defy my... Neuroses? Demons? Nihilistic deconstruction? Things. Possessed of a Quality(of course I was discussing Pirsig recently) that defies. Thus is the sacred reclaimed: always in defiance of both deceitful memory and vapid dreams. In immediacies of immanence.

You are tasked with remembering this and bearing this with you. You are tasked with forgetting this and bearing its absence. Rejoice, or cower, or shrug scarred shoulders- I recommend the first.

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